Good psychotherapy is an extraordinary relationship experience that is private and built on trust and confidence and empathy, understanding. This is exactly where I want to meet you. I want to know and relate to your experience.
I think about psychotherapy this way: you are walking around, living your life, working, having relationships, having moments alone when thoughts are on your mind and emotions are happening. In those personal moments in your daily routine, amid the places you go, the conversations you share with people, there are moments of truth. By truth I mean what’s really in your thoughts, you emotions, your fantasies, the chatter in your mind. It’s all about how you are being with yourself. This is the process that we refer to as “my life”. Does this sound accurate? Every morning, you wake up, maybe you work, talk with people, take care of business, and you have some kinds of experience with other people. Meanwhile, there is some kind of constant effort to make sense of all of this, to create meaning and probably to find satisfaction. But wait… Are you paying enough attention to how you are living? Do you” talk” with yourself in a patient and interested way? Is this the way you want to live?
What we know about ourselves at any given time is usually is not the whole picture, and certainly not what we can become.
If you decide to call me, I will pay close attention to what you experience in your private moments, as you tell me about it, we will look at your experience and consider what is true. I will take note of the exact words you use, and I will begin to understand you. And when we get together, face-to-face, my sole focus will be to learn about you, the person in front of me. Diagnosis? Treatment plan? Of course, but these come later, after we put together a complete, holistic picture of who you are, your uniqueness, your strengths, your challenges. We will start with a look at how things are right now. And then we will take a look at what it’s been like to be in you shoes for so many years.
Therapy is an in-depth study of you. And it’s a rich exploration of the human experience between client and therapist. We can learn a lot and work together by having many experiences together in sessions.
Solutions? Advice? Well, I go deep, but I keep my mind on what you need to do every day to be your best. I focus on how your life is rolling out every day and what you are doing about it, but I also keep my attention on the deeper issues. So, we will talk about strategies, but we will not skate on the surface. We will go deep. And when we go deep, we will come up to the surface and work out how you are going to live today.
There are no shortcuts. The work is hard, it takes time, but the payoff can be spectacular.
A few things about what I bring: my clinical experience and training are grounded in psychiatric rehabilitation, community counseling, residential and hospital and private practice settings, and more than two decades of private practice work helping individuals and couples navigate relationships and life adjustments. In addition to all of my clinical training and academic study, I have learned even more from the people that I have helped. Their unique life experiences are instructive and always heart rending in that we all have the constant work of making sense of our lives in a world that is never still. Further, understanding individuals is not complete without due consideration of how they have been shaped by trends in society, aspects of culture, immigration patterns, world religions, and economic and political and historic conditions. All of these factors matter. It’s wonderful to know people and help them so completely.
Psychotherapy is a process of revealing and discussing your experiences confidentially. Understanding yourself and your circumstances can bring relief and help you make important life adjustments. And when you combine talk therapy with mindfulness practice you can make sense of and organize and construct your life in a way that is even better than mere anxiety and depression reduction.
It’s very good to know that you can deeply realize your freedom and make beneficial choices about how you would like to live, work and enjoy relationships.
Psychotherapy is a stable, beneficial personal project that is built on trust, wisdom, collaboration. It is a precious gift for client and therapist to value.
Niles D. Willits-Spolin LMFT
Encino/Los Angeles, California